I think most people have those moments of befuddlement or blind panic about where they are and where they are going.
I am quite sure when I was in high school I thought by this age (nope, not telling) I would have my sh*t together.
And here I am feeling like I am further than ever from having my sh*t together.
When I interrogate myself about what that even looks like, I don’t have a clear answer, just fuzzy panic.
There are the thoughts of ‘is this it?’ and ‘I am almost halfway through life and I can’t see it being too much different from the first half’ and then a different part of my brain kicks in.
In my clearer moments I have the realisation I can start from the middle of the story.
I can start from here, from now and map and build something different.
I don’t have to seek permission.
I don’t have to have the perfect beginning of the story (or even first few chapters) to have a stellar ending.
After all, what are plot twists for?
So here I am, yelling ‘plot twist’ and starting from the middle of the story.
Same character, different perspective.
A little braver, a little wiser, a little bolder in hair colour.
I figure that means I do have my sh*t together!